Do as I say, not as I do

We all know that the news media, despite its powerful effect on culture, is not the best source of information.  In fact, the same news program can demonstrate the definition of contradiction, sometimes even in the same breath.

Recently, I saw a promo clip from one of my local television news stations about a segment they were doing at 11pm on the dangers of internet-based slot machines.  Apparently, instead of putting coins in the slots, there are computer terminals that have credit card readers attached, along with the pull-down lever on the side to simulate the feeling of the real thing. 

Well, the promo segment was a few minutes in length, discussing the dangers of gambling and the nature of addiction.  Then, in the same breath, the news anchor literally said, “…and after that, stay tuned for tonight’s powerball numbers!”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the contradicting elements presented in just a few short minutes.  While this may verify the suspicion that news professionals just read the teleprompter without thinking, I think it also reflects the importance of thinking about the perception of one’s actions by employees. 

While you can’t always think about what your employees will think when making decisions, it is important to remember the importance of modeling when it comes to demonstrating the behaviors that you’d like your employees to perform.

If you want them to come in early, stay late, or work on weekends, it can help if you do the same.  While it may not be practical to model every desired behavior, when an employee knows that you aren’t afraid to get your hands dirty, that acts as a huge deposit in the relationship bank account, making it easier for them to invest in the behavior themselves.

Okay, we’ve gone a little of course from the gambling intro, but hopefully there’s some relevance in there somewhere.

How do you know when something’s done?

In a world of seemingly endless tasks and action-items, the ability to know when something is done is extremely important.  Even if you know when something is done, what do you do if someone on your team doesn’t seem to know when a task is complete?

Not knowing when something’s done relates to the problems of “analysis paralysis” and what I call the “perfection paradox.”  Analysis paralysis, as you may well know, is when someone continuously analyzes a set of options over and over seemingly without end.  The purpose of this type of behavior may be due to a lack of confidence, fear of making a mistake, fear of failure, poor decision-making skills, as well as other behavioral challenges.

The perfection paradox, although similar to analysis paralysis, is all about the fear of being less than perfect.  Of course, having a fear of not being perfect is certainly less than perfection, thus the paradox.  This is a particularly common challenge for high-achievers.  This can cause a lot of challenges in decision-making as well as completing tasks.  After all, if a decision is not made or a task is not completed, then the individual may feel that they can’t be judged as being imperfect.  Of course, this strategy can’t last forever as decisions must ultimately be made and tasks ultimately have deadlines.  In the meantime, however, a lot of time and energy is wasted as these individuals dance around the completion of the decision or task.

So, what do you do when you have someone on your team who has this particular issue?  First, it is important to bring it up during the course of supervision.   During a one-on-one conversation, talk to the individual about their perception of their ability to make decisions.  While they may be unaware of their issue, it is even more likely that they are unaware about how to resolve it.

Through the discussion, you can simply ask the question, “How do you know when you’re done with ___?”  If they can’t tell you, then it would be a great time to coach them on identifying completion criteria which are simply the observable evidence that a decision is to be made or a task to be called complete.

Of course, another component of the issue could simply be related to confidence.  Through years and years of hesitant conditioning, individuals develop unproductive habits that become deeply ingrained.  Bringing the issue out into the open is the first step towards its resolution.  Once the individual begins to demonstrate positive behaviors relating to completion, reinforce and encourage the individual as soon as possible.

Monday Morning Motivation

Remember, the best way to motivate others is to give them the opportunity to motivate themselves.  Having your employees hit the ground running on Monday morning often has more to do with what you do on Friday than what you do on Monday.  If you want to have a great Monday, you need to start preparing on Friday. 

People tend to feel great on Fridays.  The weekend is coming and the excitement about the weekend, for some people, is better than the actual weekend itself.  I find it interesting that if you ask people what their favority day of the week is, many people will say Friday.  One would think that Saturday or Sunday would be the clear winner, but Friday also ranks pretty high on the list and in terms of motivation, you can use this to prepare to have a great Monday.

To begin, pick a time on Friday when you can get your team together to prepare for the following week.  Keep the following in mind when picking the time:

• If you decide to have an early meeting, providing breakfast can put everyone in a great mood
• Long lunches tend to happen from time-to-time on Fridays, avoid times like 11:00 am or 1:00 pm so your employees don’t feel rushed during lunch or the meeting
• Don’t pick 4:00 pm, they may show up physically, but they’ll probably have already checked out mentally

This meeting should not be about gathering status reports.  So don’t go around the table and have everyone simply update you on what they’ve done this week.  This tends to be boring for everyone in attendance and not particularily helpful for you the manager.  Think of this as more of a celebration of the successes of the week.  Hold back giving corrective feedback, do this in private if necessary.  Of course, this isn’t meant to foster competitive one-upmanship either.  Direct the meeting by focusing on what’s been accomplished this week and what that means to the team, division and/or company in terms of impact.  Use questions like:

• What big milestones did we hit on important projects this week?
• What projects were completed? started? 
• What got finished that was important, but that’s been overlooked in the past?
• What did we do this week that will directly impact the profitability of our company?
• What did we do this week that we’re proud of? (for example handling a customer service issue well, making a sales call we’ve been avoiding, etc.)

As they share, be sure to link these accomplishments, big and small, to how they benefit the team, division and/or company.  People want to be a part of something that is important.  Remind them how their successes contribute to the success of the company and how the success of your company benefits your customers and the markets you serve.  Keep this conversation positive and genuine.  Next, help them prepare to tackle the next week by asking things like:

• What should we work on next week to make it even better than this week?
• What are the biggest obstacles we are likely to face next week?
• What can we do on Monday to set ourselves up for a great week?
• Are there any important projects that have been neglected that we can start on or complete next week?

Through this process, what you’re essentially doing is reinforcing the positive behaviors and results in one week and leveraging those towards the success of the following week.  In NLP, this is called “future-pacing” and involves linking positive emotional states to future events.  So, by future-pacing, you help to install a positive sense of anticipation about the following week so that when Monday arrives, they’re ready to hit the ground running.  Again, getting your team to focus on Monday morning may be best achieved by preparing on Friday.

When Monday morning arrives, all that is necessary is to do a little bit of office quarterbacking to get everyone to pick up where you left off on Friday.  Since everyone is already primed and fully associated with their objectives for the week, its easier for them to tap into motivation, even on a Monday.

Now does this mean that no one on your team will feel sluggish and slow to get going on Monday, probably not.  However, getting your team ready to begin running on Monday by preparing on Friday will certainly help things along in the right direction.

 

Values Hierarchy, Part 3

How do you deal with a person whose primary concern (value) is price?  While the answer is certainly situational, one possible answer is to probe deeper into the purpose of having the lowest cost or price.  In a recent presentation, this question came up in relation to a wholesaler dealing with a retailer whose primary concern is price.

For most of us, price is frequently a concern.  However, the absolute lowest cost is not always desirable.  The lowest cost parachute, for example, is probably not much of a selling point.  It is true that some things are essentially commodities and price is the primary selling point.  However, in many situations, price isn’t the only concern.  This is where values elicitation comes in.  While a competitive price may be a qualifier (the quality that gets you in the game), it is typically other qualities that get the win.

For the wholesaler mentioned above, the retailer probably wants the lowest price to attract the most customers and to maximize their profit margin.  However, the lowest cost product may actually cost the retailer business if their products don’t function properly.  This may boost profits in the short-term, but in the long-term, having repeat customers is much more sustainable and profitable.

If providing low-cost products and services is the business strategy, then that’s fine but there always has to be a balance between quality and cost.  Where you fall on that continuum depends on your strategy, the market, and how you utilize the 4 P’s of Marketing: Product, Place, Price, and Promotion.

In the end, if someone tells you that price is their most important concern, don’t worry if you’re not the low-cost provider; simply elicit their values by asking what else is important.  By identifying these other components, you take the conversation away from price and exand the conversation to a larger field of opportunity.

Best of luck!

Values Hierarchy, Part 2

Last time, we left off having identified that “values” are simply what is important to a person.  By aligning our communication to others in terms of their values, we can increase buy-in.  Let’s look a little closer at ways to identify deeper, often hidden values.

Once you’ve identified a person’s values either formally or informally (see Employee Buy-In), it may be valuable to identify where this value falls in the person’s values hierarchy.  A values hierarchy is a person’s conceptual framework that organizes values along the spectrum between abstraction and specificity.  Fortunately, it’s not as complicated as it may sound.

This model is the same used in most modern classification systems.  As an example, consider the idea of a dog.  From this concept, we can go down the hierarchy to more specific types of dogs including greyhounds, labradors, poodles, etc.  From this subcategory, we could get even more specific by considering specific parts of dogs including front right paw, tail, nose, etc.  This process could continue all the way down to the molecular level, the atomic level, particle level, etc.

In the opposite direction we could move to more abstract concepts from the idea of dogs to mammals.  From mammals, we could go to animals, then all life on earth, and so on, all the way up to the universe.  Becoming comfortable with the Hierarchy Ideas allows you to easily move conceptually to higher levels of abstraction as well as in the opposite direction to greater levels of specificity.

Now, how does this relate to values exactly?  Well, values are a category of ideas.  As a result, we have values at varying levels of specificity and abstraction.  When you identify a person’s value, it may or may not be a part of a larger, more abstract value.

For example, the value of money may be important, but it is often a subcategory of a higher value.  This higher value may be something like success, happiness, time with family, etc.  In this case, money would be considered a “means” value rather than an “ends” value.  Money would be a means value because it is a means of achieving some other end value.

Now, understanding the person’s values hierarchy, you can appeal to a person’s value of money or you can choose to appeal to the higher value of spending time with family, for example.  Since the higher values tend to be more valuable, aligning your communication with these higher values increases the likelihood of buy-in.

That’s it for now.  In the next post, we’ll finally piece these elements together to answer the question, “How do you deal with a person whose primary concern (value) is price?”

For more information about values and personality, see Time Line Therapy and the Basis of Personality.

Values Hierarchy, Part 1

In a recent presentation, I was teaching a segment on Values and the importance of appealing to a person’s values when trying to elicit buy-in.  During the Q & A, I was asked for suggestions about how to deal with a client in a sales environment whose only concern (value) is price.  I’ll share the complete answer in my next few posts.  For now, I’d like to share a few of the highlights about how to use values to elicit buy-in.

First, for the purposes of creating buy-in in terms of management, communication, and sales, “values” simply refers to what is important to a person.  Of course, what a person values will have an effect on their behavior and how they spend their time.  For example, a person whose highest value is family will spend their time differently than someone whose highest value is career.

For most people, not all values are created equal.  As a result, we typically have subconsciously ranked values.  I say “subconsciously” because most people are unaware of their ranked values until they choose to do a bit of reflection.  To elicit someone’s values, all you have to do is ask, “What’s important to you about X?” where X refers to the topic of discussion.  Follow up by asking, “What else is important?” and continue until they say, “That’s it” or at least until you feel that you have sufficient information for your situation.

Once you have identified a person’s values, you can then appeal to their values to get buy-in by framing your communication so that it is in line with their values.  If a person values career and financial success, you would obviously frame your communiation differently than you would with someone who values their time with their family and recreation.

Part 2 will have information on the Hierarchy of Ideas and how they relate to values.  Part 3 will finally answer the question we started with: “How do you deal with a customer whose only concern (value) is price?” 

Picking the Perfect Price

As one of the 4 “P’s” of marketing, “price” is a critical piece of the marketing mix.  Along with product, place, and promotion, the right price can make or break the success of a new product.  Prices that are too high may limit market penetration; prices that are too low may seem too good to be true.  Other than price point,  do the numbers themselves have any impact on customer perception.

According to an article in Scientific American Mind  entitled “Why Things Cost $19.95,” the ending pricing numbers do, in fact, make a difference.  According to the article, the last significant digits set the anchor point for analysis.  Something that costs $500, for example, is a round number which is associated with a guess (i.e. about $500).  Therefore, the product may be worth $450, $475, or something like that.  If the product is priced at $495, the last significant digit is in the “ones” place as in “5″.  Being much more precise compared to rounding, the customer may perceive the actual value to be $490 or $485, both of which are higher values compared to the association with the $500 price point.

While the detials of the article are supported by field tests, doesn’t it just sound better to buy something for $19.95 than 20 bucks?  After all, who doesn’t feel good buying the latest infomercial gadget for three easy installments of $19.95?

Importance of Nonverbal Communication

One of the most effective ways to establish rapport is by matching and mirroring a person’s communication.  This refers not only to what a person says but also to how they say it along with their body language.

In 1970, Robert Birdwhistell published a study suggesting that the words we use to communicate account for only 7% of our communication.  The remaining 93% of our communication is expressed through voice tonality (38%) and physiology (55%).  While there is some debate over the accuracy of these percentages, the importance of nonverbal communication is clear.  To see for yourself, do the following exercise.

Pretend for a moment that you are at work and someone says to you “Thanks a lot.”  Do you believe that they are sincere in their appreciation?  Next, imagine that someone is saying the same thing, only this time they say it sarcastically and are rolling their eyes.  Do you still feel appreciated?

The truth is that what we say is not nearly as important in communicating information as how we say it along with our nonverbal communication.  In essence, the words we use provide the content of our communication and our nonverbal communication provides the context.  Content is always dependent on the context in which it is presented.

Using this information, you can establish rapport with someone by matching and mirroring their words, voice tonality, and physiology.  Future posts will take a look at exactly how to do that.

Does the Peter Principle Happen Faster in Technology Companies?

I’ve had some recent experiences working with software programmers who have been promoted to management.  Often in the technology industry, people are promoted based on one set of skills (technical skills) to a position that requires a different skill set (people skills).  A blend of both would be ideal.  However, in the above-mentioned cases these professionals found themselves relatively underwhelmed and bored in their technical positions and overwhelmed in their supervisory/managerial positions. 

Of course, not all computer programmers are introverted and lacking people skills.  I even married one, although she’s no longer a programmer.  But does the idea of being promoted to the level of incompetence (the Peter Principle) occur at a faster rate in technologically-oriented organizations in general or are my experiences isolated? 

Unconscious Rapport

While conscious rapport is certainly important, the most powerful form of rapport is established unconsciously.  When this happens, one or more of the parties feel connected beyond common experiences and common interests.  It is the type of rapport that is characterized by connection, receptivity, collaboration, openness, trust, and mutual understanding.

Beyond establishing rapport through common experiences and interests, unconscious rapport can be established through a process called matching and mirroring.  Matching and mirroring, as the names suggest, is when a person matches or mirrors the behavior of someone else by doing what they are doing.  The purpose of which is to create a connection with the other person based on being similar to the other person as a whole, rather than through common experiences or interests.

Matching occurs when a person does the exact same thing that another person is doing.  For example, if you were sitting across from me and you crossed your left leg over your right leg, I would cross my left leg over my right leg.  It would be the same behavior but would look reversed to you.

Mirroring, on the other hand, occurs when a person reflects back a particular behavior.  In the above example, when you crossed your left leg over your right leg, I would cross my right leg over my left leg.  As a result, you and I would represent mirror images of each other in terms of leg position.

As a result of matching and mirroring, you increase the likelihood of establishing rapport.  Most importantly, the rapport is established at an unconscious level.  If the mirroring and matching is done in excess, it may come across as mimicking or mocking, in which case, rapport is likely to be lost.

Part of the art of establishing rapport is finding the balance between overdoing it and being too subtle.  If the person you are talking to uses wild hand gestures while they speak, it is probably too much to swing your hands around at the same time.  They will probably think you are making fun of them.  Instead, you are more likely to establish and maintain rapport by using animated hand gestures when it is your turn to talk.

Warnings about being too blatant aside, I have been using NLP to establish rapport for over ten years and have never had anyone “call me out” on trying to establish rapport with them.  In that sense, you can actually be quite overt and it is unlikely that the other person is going to notice what you are doing.

Some people feel a little nervous about using matching and mirroring, fearing that they are going to get caught.  The reality is that even if they did notice that you were matching and mirroring them, what is wrong with trying to develop a positive relationship characterized by openness and mutual understanding?

I remember being at a business function talking with a therapist and another colleague and we were all in rapport with each of us standing and leaning off to one side.  When I shared that I do a lot of work with clients using NLP, the therapist, familiar with NLP, jokingly began changing his body posture quickly and encouraged me to match and mirror him to stay in rapport.  Of course, the whole thing looked quite funny and we all began to laugh.  After the laugh, we all resumed our positions, went back into rapport, and continued our conversation.